The World Was A Much Better Place With MTV’s Rock N Jock Sports

Over the weekend, my Uproxxian colleague Danger Guerrero sent me a link to an old MTV Rock N Jock Softball clip, and it basically turned my afternoon into a complete waste. I didn’t get pushed into the YouTube wormhole as much as I willingly belly-flopped into the extensive search results for all things Rock N Jock, and I spent a good 4 or 5 hours reliving one of the most important pop cultural influences of my teenage years. After all, which child of the 90s didn’t desperately want to take a 10-point shot or a swing at the gold ball?
According to MTV’s website, the Rock N Jock franchise is alive and well, but that’s a bit misleading. Currently airing on MTV 2 on Saturday mornings, the latest version of Rock N Jock is a series hosted by Todd Richards and “Dirty” as they travel to various extreme sports events to talk to athletes like Shaun White and Ryan Sheckler, which basically sounds like every show that airs on Fuel TV. Clearly, it’s a far cry from the days of the Bricklayers and Violators battling for terrible fashion supremacy.
I’m certainly not the first blogger to get a wild hair and demand that MTV bring back the iconic softball, basketball, football and even bowling contests between actors, musicians and athletes, but as someone who once begged his mom to buy him a Homeboys baseball jersey for Christmas (thank you so much for not listening, mom) I think we’re due for some rematches. If Beavis and Butthead can make a comeback, then Rock N Jock certainly can, too.

(Images via LIFE and MTV.)

Danger sent me this clip because of our mutual love of all things Keanu Reeves, but if you’re not thrown into a nostalgia spell with David Faustino’s poof mullet/hat combo, then you were probably more of a “Fashionably Loud” fan.

SO. MUCH. AMAZEBALLS!!! I hope Mark Wahlberg eventually wins a Best Actor Oscar so this video will reach the ultimate legendary status.

I hate this video for not having good volume, but it’s still worth it to watch and imagine a new version with Evan Longoria and David Freese goofing around while Kate Upton and Vanessa Hudgens mud wrestle in center field. Wait, did I just guarantee myself a producer’s credit?

I don’t know how many female readers we have, but I hope they look at this clip and feel terrible about loving these guys so much.

You can actually watch the entire 1997 Rock N Jock Basketball game on YouTube by following the related clips as I did. Twice. I think the biggest takeaway is that Marlon Wayans has been gainfully employed for more than 14 years.
This picture speaks 1,000,000 words.
Aaliyah with Jennifer Love Hewitt, who is holding a Slim Jim. “I’ll take three things I loved in the 90s for $1,000, Alex.”

Roger Clemens, Joey Lawrence Cameron Daddo, Kenny Lofton, Pam Anderson and Albert Belle.
You’re telling me Diddy and Bow Wow wouldn’t sign on for a new Rock N Jock event this year?
Donna D’Errico, who still looks like this, never got the credit she deserved behind Pam Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth on “Baywatch”.
David Duchovny was like the Rock N Jock superstar.
I’m willing to bet that alleged sex addiction might have been cultivated by these appearances.
Melissa Etheridge playing softball. MTV made the best jokes back then.
Before Eminem told us who was No. 1, there was Flea.
“Hey look, Thomas Gibson has a flamingo,” shouted nobody. But if Gibson can get a spot on the field, that must be good news for the guy who plays Schmidt on “New Girl”.
In 1997, this picture could have gotten both women and men pregnant.
Not pictured: Their agents telling them to open savings accounts.
I’ve looked at this picture 1,000 times, trying to remember everyone in it and I just can’t get past Dan Cortese’s pants.
I’d love to travel back to when this picture was taken and ask people which of these two celebrities would still be acting in movies in 2011.
No comment necessary.
Dan Marino, Tara Reid, Nelly, Bubba Sparxxx and Lavar Arrington. This photo should be in the Smithsonian.
Oddly, Queen Latifah was the best power forward Chris Mullin ever played with.
90s fashion doesn’t get the credit it deserves.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Michael Rappaport just used the N-word.
Sure, it’s not as intelligent as the Puppy Bowl, but it’s still an entertaining idea.
When I was a teenager, I had a huge crush on Tabitha Soren. I have no idea why.
Tommy Lee holding two things he measures his penis with.
But seriously, Tommy and Heather Locklear really were America’s original sweethearts.
Oh man…
Oh man oh man oh man…
On the other hand, some guys might be shining examples of why foolish sporting events might not be the best idea.
(Styled by Baseball Card Bust)
Seriously, look at this picture and then close your eyes and imagine Kate Upton and Vanessa Hudgens. We have the power to make this happen, MTV!
Molly Sims made a million teenage boys sign up for flag football that day.
Except no reality TV people this time, MTV. Sorry, but I must insist on a Kardashian-free event.


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