Give Him Your Heart but Never your Soul

There is a huge difference between loving a man and losing yourself in a man. Ladies if you can’t be who you are meant to be with the man in your life, it’s time to move around. No man or version of love is worth losing your dignity, or self respect.
In today’s world women are constantly turning back flips for a man who is just not worth it. Every Monday I yell at the women on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta praying, wishing, hoping they will get a clue. What the women on this show see in the sub human men they deal with is beyond me. Kirk Frost thought it was alright to sleep with two women while his pregnant wife sat at home. Frost explained the infidelity to his friend Benzino, “I got a pass to do what I want.” Really? What fool hears his angry wife say you are tripping, go think about what you want, draws the illogical conclusion that they now have a free pass to sleep with whoever they want?Think about what you want doesn’t mean go sleep with the first trollops you find? is reporting Frost just found out his definition of a weekend pass = DIVORCE. Rasheeda Frost allegedly filed for divorce hours before the taping of the reunion show July 11, 2013 and presented them to her husband on stage. Why does it have to go this far before we realize we deserve better?  Mimi and Joseline have been actively sharing Stevie J for the last year and half. WHY WHY WHY? Joseline hands Stevie J a wad of cash and he immediately heads over to see Mimi presenting her with a new purse and filling it with the cash he received from Joseline. In his song “Statistics, Lyfe Jennings explains just what you are in store for when you start out cheating with a man who has a woman. “Rule #1 Don’t be a booty call. If he don’t respect you girl he gonna forget you girl. Rule #2 If he’s in a relationship, if he’ll cheat on her that means he’ll cheat on you…”  Joseline are you that desperate to have a man in your life that it’s okay that he’s taking money for your video and handing it to Mimi? Ladies here’s a clue, if you have to buy your own engagement ring, wedding band AND propose to him HE DOES NOT WANT YOU. You look like a damn fool buying him a wedding band and he’s taking your money lining another’s woman’s pockets. Are you serious?

A man can not complete you. The material gifts he throws your way to keep you on a string won’t complete you. You have to do that for yourself. His lies, the mental abuse, and money won’t  change the fact that he’s sleeping with every woman willing to spread her legs like hot butter on toast. I am by no means saying you can’t have a man in your life, but I am saying be strong, happy and have standards for yourself.  Demand better, you deserve better. Does that mean you might have to be alone for a day, a week, a month, or year?  I won’t lie, maybe. The time spent alone getting to know yourself and setting boundaries is time well spent. I promise a man who is worthy of you is worth waiting for. We’ve all kissed our fair share of frogs.

Let’s be clear that doesn’t mean you should expect an All-Star to fall in your lap when you are still batting in the Minor Leagues. You have to work on yourself and bring quality to the table. If you are a hot ass mess Mr. Right Now is the only man who is going to have time for you. Lyfe jennings broke that down also, “Rule # 4 Be the person you wanna find. Don’t be a nickle looking for a dime.”  You and your mate should be assets to each other. Partners taking the necessary steps to arrive at the next level together.

Why are women always willing to stand by and support a man and help his dreams come true when he won’t do the same for  her? Real men do not let their queen drift off to sea without a life vest. I’ve been there too. I have given up on myself and my goals and dreams to make the dreams of the man in my life come true. After I gave all I could give did those men reach back and help me reach any of goals? Nope, they just moved on to the next poor soul. Relationships are give and take, but if you’re always giving of yourself and he’s only taking and giving you drama then that’s not a relationship. It’s 2013 stop getting pimped. When you only have 20% to give does the man in your life suck that last 20% out of your emotional bank account? Or does he put up 80% to help you climb out of the valley. If he’s sucking you dry, get off of life support and let him go. There is a reason our grandmothers told us,” baby you can do bad by yourself.”

I get it. really, I do. Now that I’ve decided I’m worth more than that, the world looks a whole lot different. There are still days when I say I just can’t go anymore. that’s life. Does the man in your life have his foot on your neck pinning you to the ground? Or does he see you as the beautiful butterfly you are and let you fly?

  1. I agree. I wish more women knew their true worth, and realized if the person they are with doesn’t value and respect them they aren’t the person for them. I’d rather be alone then to pretend to be in a relationship with someone who devalued me.

  2. If you have to give up part of yourself to become half of a couple, then you are not in a real relationship. I fear that most women who “lose themselves in a man” do so because they did not have a stable male role model in their lives as they grew up and now they take what they feel they can get… so sad!

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