I’ve been sitting here thinking how crazy songs are. There are a lot of stalker and wanna be stalker anthems on the radio. The sad part is we just sing them like it’s really something to sing. But when we attract a stalker then we start wondering why. It’s like looking in the mirror saying candy man, candy man…. You called them they will come. So today I’m going to help you a little. A. If you are singing and playing any of these songs on constant repeat you may be a stalker. If the song sounds like your date well you may have a fatal attraction. Now let’s clarify stalker and fatal attraction here. My beloved says a fatal attraction aka stalker is someone who is in love with you, won’t go away even though you have said I don’t want you around. Okay yeah I know he may be a stalker too, but I want him here so by his logic he isn’t a stalker. According to his stalker reasoning since we both want to be in this relationship we are just deeply in love and devoted to one another. Hmmm. yeah next week I may have to look into why I may be in love with a stalker. But for now.
1.Been Around the World Lisa Stanfield. Okay here’s a clue if you have to go all around the world to find your baby and you can’t find him he doesn’t want to be found. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVuuatjHGnY
2. So Gone Monica. If you are driving by his house in an unmarked car to catch him. I can’t begin to tell you how quickly you may want to seek help. I mean real counseling not one of your crazy friends. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPGjZ4gjOR8
3. Ring the AlarmI can’t let you go. Damn if I let you go. I’ll be damn if I see another chick on your arm. We’re going to get back to B she seems to have some deep seeded issues. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eY_mrU8MPfI
4. Brandy Almost doesn’t count. This isn’t really a stalker song. She’s sick of his mess and about to kick him to the curb. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jC5MkGu7eU Had to give ya’ll one feel good song.
5.Justin Beiber As Long As You love Me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4em3LKQCAQ We can not be homeless, and broke as long as you love me. No Justin this is not the plan. We can be starving. Are you crazy. This is not the plan. I’m a big girl I can’t go without eating fooling around with you. That’s probably why Selena Gomez left. Homelessness is nothing to play with. You can be homeless alone. What the hell do you look like being homeless and hungry with a mate? That just tells you right there the boy has never left his mama’s house. You can say we can be hungry and live in abox when you living at your mom’s because you know mom is in the kitchen listening to the O’jays cooking. But, when you are grown, oh no. This is never gonna work Justin.
6. The Police Every Breath You Take http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs Every single day I will be watching you. Every move you make, every vow you break, every smile you fake I’ll be watching you. Now I know a lot of people think this song is romantic, but um, don’t watch every move or breath I take. I’m from Detroit if you’re watching me that hard you will need to pay someone to help you watch because I’m going to poke your dang on eyes out watching every move I make. Hmph Away with you bitches in my Mama Dee from Love and Hip Hop voice.
7. Temptations Ain’t Too Proud To beg. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxHMHrWJ2SE Now I love my temps but if you got to beg and plead so they can stay, LET THEM GO.
8. Another Temptation song. I can’t get next to you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RfGe6MvY84 Enough said. If you are trying that hard and I am making it impossible to get next to me, there is a reason.
9. Rockwell I always feel like somebody’s watching me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvAYIJSSZY Y’all know I’m funny I don’t want anybody always watching me. Oh no baby this is a problem.
10. Beyonce Why Don’t You love me? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QczgvUDskk0 I could have just done a B is crazy list. She has multiple warning signs. Crazy in Love, De Ja Vu, If I were a Boy, Me Myself and I Sasha Fierce, it just goes on. I hope Jay-Z never leaves her or cheats because she is going to nut up. I’m just saying.
11. I can’t make you love me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uY7etF8vNFA You never want anyone to make you love them. You are all that you never have to make him love you.
12. Alicia Keys You don’t know my name http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ST6ZRbhGiA. Ladies if he doesn’t even know your name you shouldn’t be dreaming of dates, making love and wedding cakes. It’s just weird. You probably don’t know his name because you’re walking around saying you feeling all crazy inside and HE DOESN”T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME. Please stop. This is a bad bad sign.
13. O’Jays She Used to be My GIrl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp9-y62V3kk Now I love this song. But brother man if you messed it up and she has moved on and she used to be your girl. Well that’s on you. She has moved on you should too. You’re walking around talking about she’ll always be my girl and I’d take her back right now today. She does not want you back. You should have paid attention to what you had while you had it. Now she’s stepping out with the next man and they’re laughing at how crazy you look. You’re thinking you can always get her back because you used to have her. Clue time. If you used to be my man you AIN’T coming back. But hey that’s just me. I only do memory lane when I’m singing.
14. The Chi-Lites Have You Seen Her http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVYxKRXDT2I Maybe it’s just me, but if you have to walk around asking others if they have seen your woman YOU HAVE MESSED UP. Bro it’s over. Everywhere you go you seeing her and she’s packed up and moved to another state to get away from you. Let it go.
15. Ray Charles Hit The Road Jack http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICm7D9O-0Q4 Son if she starts playing this song when you roll in at 3 AM just get your stuff and go. She is not taking you back. Don’t plead because at this point she’s ready to shoot or call the police. Just leave peacefully.
16. I was just going to do 15 but Taylor Swift has a knack for telling guys to get to stepping. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivv6BSmnK3M Never Ever Getting back together. If someone says never ever yeah they mean that. Just walk away slowly. Do not do Kevin Hart and go Let Me Explain. She doesn’t care.
17. They just keep coming. Earth Wind and Fire Would You Mind http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvRlgDnbh_Q First women don’t want to be hypnotized. Secondly if you have to ask us if we mind then yes we mind. Go away you’re bothering me.
18.The Jackson 5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3Q80mk7bxE so another song where you had her all to yourself now you want her back. Boy go sit down somewhere. You not knowing what you had when you had it is whose fault? Seems to be a lot of Motown songs like this. I wonder if Berry Gordy was going through something when he couldn’t decide if he wanted his wife or Diana.
19. Diana Ross and The Supremes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBnzV5kQnDw if you have to ask him to come see about you. Baby it’s past being over. He doesn’t care that you’ve been crying, pretending to die over him. He is not coming. When his mama calls and tells you to move on girl do it. They will put you in jail for this stalking madness.
20. Sinead O’Connor http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBnzV5kQnDw okay this has got to be the worst one I know nothing may compare to the love you lost, but Sinead get it together. If you know he’s been gone 7 hours and fifteen days since he took his love away, you have lost it. What have you been doing? Obviously not getting a life. Even the doctor told you to get over it and live. All you can say is nothing takes away these blues cause nothing compares to you. Are you serious? Sit down somewhere Sinead. Here’s another clue if he left he doesn’t care that you can’t stop crying. I’m just saying. The doctor told you go have fun you say he’s a fool. I’m going to leave that one alone too easy.
When it’s over it’s done. Move on. Stop peeping behind bushes, looking alI over the world for me. It’s done. I know all of these may not be stalking songs, but if someone doesn’t want you just go. Stop hanging around hoping they will change they mind. BTW if I Karintha Wheaton-Styles break up with you my family and friends did too. Don’t come to the family picnics and reunion talking about you were invited. My family was just being polite. They do that. Just say no thank you. I’m going to give you the are you serious right now look when I get there. GO AWAY. My family not yours. I have old boyfriends calling my college friends and family asking what I’m doing. I’m doing fine WITHOUT YOU. Go sit down someplace. I have one old boyfriend whose family I loved before we were together. I was friends with most of his family before we met. So we are still friends. But I’m not at the family picnic trying to win him back either.
Let’s just agree to disagree on this. STALKING is never cute. It is not a declaration of how much someone loves you. Stalking is bad. Say it with me, stalking is evil. If you walk in the club and that hot guy or girl is singing been around the world and I can’t find my baby …. don’t walk. Just run and run fast.
See you tomorrow for Pay it Forward Friday. Same Bat Channel sometime before the stroke of midnight. Peace, love and Style.
- 11 Signs You’re A Facebook Stalker (buzzfeed.com)
- stalker marketing? (brandflakesforbreakfast.com
- The Dos and Don’ts of Wedding Music (ritani.com)